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<title>You Come Back To What You Need (This Love Came Back to Me) by MoonlightShines (Thatkillervibe)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036695">You Come Back To What You Need (This Love Came Back to Me)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatkillervibe/pseuds/MoonlightShines'>MoonlightShines (Thatkillervibe)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Killervibe Week 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Flash (TV 2014)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Break Up, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, POV Caitlin Snow, Post-Break Up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:14:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatkillervibe/pseuds/MoonlightShines</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cisco and Caitlin date for three months. And then they break up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry Allen/Iris West, Cisco Ramon/Caitlin Snow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Killervibe Week 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884334</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Come Back To What You Need (This Love Came Back to Me)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisabethandrews/gifts">elisabethandrews</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This Love by Taylor Swift!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cannot Stress Enough!!!!!!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One of the newest Netflix shows finishes the season finale on-screen as Cisco and Caitlin snuggle up on Caitlin’s couch. Cisco groaned over the ending, the pining between the protagonist and his love interest left him on edge. With his arm still around Caitlin, he pushed his head into her shoulder with a miserable sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“That was torture.” </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin watched him in amusement. He could never stand love stories that end unrequited. He said they hurt his soul. </p><p><br/>She poked his side. “Maybe we shouldn’t have watched a series called <em> Heart Trap Hotel </em>if you’re so sensitive.” </p><p> </p><p>“I mean Mary and Nat were—” </p><p> </p><p>“Perfect for each other,” she finished for him. She was trying to concentrate on the parallels between the complicated lives of the autistic mother and the neighbour that worked at the daycare for the hotel when Cisco wouldn’t stop bemoaning about them. </p><p> </p><p>“Well they are!” he insisted. “That ending was such bullshit. Netflix, do better. Barry and I are living proof that it’s possible to get out of the friendzone.” </p><p> </p><p><em> The Friendzone. </em>What a juvenile, masculine-coded social construct. Caitlin rolled her eyes. “Don’t make me change my mind.” </p><p> </p><p>Cisco frowned, pulling his arm from around her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>She looked at him and grabbed his hand, putting it back around her shoulder. “I’m just kidding.”</p><p> </p><p>“It didn’t sound like it.” He tugged his hand back again. </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin chewed on her bottom lip, eyeing him wordlessly. </p><p> </p><p>“Why would you even say that if it wasn’t on your mind?” </p><p> </p><p>“Well…” she said, looking aside.</p><p> </p><p>He blanched. “Oh my god.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Caitlin already felt uneasy, and the pit grew in her stomach when Cisco’s face went crestfallen. This was not what she expected when she invited him over for movie night.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, Cisco! This is hard! I kiss you and go on dates with you and it feels amazing but it’s always felt amazing because I’ve always loved doing that with you anyway!”</p><p> </p><p>For the record, she had never meant for it to come out like that. But the thought lingered in the back of her mind. They’ve only been dating for three months, taking it slow. They’ve only started having sex a few weeks ago too, and it was amazing, she didn’t have any complaints. But…Was it amazing because it was love….Or because Caitlin had not had sex in forever and it was something new with Cisco? Sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder if they weren’t just best friends pretending to be lovers. </p><p> </p><p>Cisco got off the couch and paced the length of her coffee table. The Netflix logo faded to black on the television screen, and all she could see was the framed picture of the two of them from the West-Allen housewarming party years ago smiling back at her on her TV cabinet every time he turned on his heel. </p><p> </p><p>“You’ve been married before, wouldn’t you know what feeling in love is <em> like.”  </em></p><p> </p><p>“But I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember! I just—”</p><p> </p><p>“You want to break up.” </p><p> </p><p>“—No.” </p><p> </p><p>“It sounds like you do.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to upset you.” </p><p> </p><p>Cisco stopped to meet her eyes and spoke frankly. “It’s too late for that.”</p><p> </p><p>Tears pricked behind Caitlin’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He sighed, grabbing his leather jacket from the hook by the door. He leaves the hoodie on her couch. The one she’d been using as a makeshift blanket instead of her throws in the basket beside the end table.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t tell if you’re mad at me.” </p><p> </p><p>“You know what,” he said after a moment. “I’m hurt, yeah. But I’m not angry. Maybe we should take a break if you think it’ll help. I want a life with you. The last thing I want is for two or five or ten years down the road you realize this was a mistake.” </p><p> </p><p>Cisco shrugged on his jacket but turned around before leaving. Caitlin was frozen, stuck on the couch, refusing to blink. She didn’t want to cry. </p><p> </p><p>He tilted her chin up, looking at her closely. Caitlin trembled. He kissed her chaste before opening a breach to go home. </p><p> </p><p>~.~ </p><p> </p><p>The next day at Star Labs was weird. Awkward. </p><p> </p><p>Cisco announced casually that they broke up, and left for his workshop in the wake of Barry and Chester’s gawked faces. </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin leaned her head over her tablet, letting her hair fall around her face. They didn’t bother her and she didn’t cry. Iris called during the five spare minutes they called to lunch in the middle of a meta-emergency, but she left it to the answering machine. She was sure her friend would be full of questions, but her mind was spinning. She had no answers. </p><p> </p><p>After the meta was put away, Cisco came back through a breach as Barry zipped into the Cortex. Caitlin ran up to kiss him—</p><p> </p><p>—then realized. </p><p> </p><p>She fumbled, blushing and muttering out an apology, not catching the way the corner of his mouth lifted, just barely. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry,” she whispered, avoiding Barry’s obvious silent judgment. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay,” he promised with a painful lopsided smile. </p><p> </p><p>~.~ </p><p> </p><p>Things got better after that. Not normal, because they couldn’t be. Caitlin still remembered the way she felt in Cisco’s bed. Remembered the way she massaged his scalp, remembers the way he pulled calf on the couch until she shrieked with laughter, and he kissed her until they both fell to the carpeted ground. </p><p> </p><p>But they were still friends now. They came up with three new patents in one week, spent a whole overnight mission undercover without conflict, teased Iris mercilessly when she called Barry<em> “Daddy” </em>in front of Joe that one time at the West house. Then teased Barry until his face went red as his suit after. </p><p> </p><p>They laughed and sat next to each other. Caitlin leaned her head against his shoulder, during stakeouts in the vans, and he still bought her cupcakes and freezies from the grocery store around the corner. </p><p> </p><p>It was like they never dated. Or maybe it was like they never broke up. </p><p> </p><p>No. </p><p> </p><p>They did. They’re just acting like best friends. Which they always were. </p><p> </p><p>And always would be.</p><p> </p><p>~.~ </p><p> </p><p>With the extra time on her hands, no dates, no gamer events for Cisco to drag her to, Caitlin volunteered to help Joe and Cecile with Jenna when their babysitter left for Coast City. </p><p> </p><p>The keys jingle in the doorway, then Joe walked in. Caitlin lifted Jenna from her playpen, handing over his daughter. </p><p> </p><p>“This was really so kind of you, Caitlin. Since Cecile’s been back to work and The Flash busted that kidnapping Nanny business last month, it’s been nonstop to veto babysitters.” </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin smiled, wiping the stickiness on her hands that somehow came from Jenna on her pants. “It’s no problem, Joe. I’ve got the time and she’s a sweetheart, really.” </p><p> </p><p>Joe kissed Jenna’s cheek and settled down on his recliner in the living room, loosening his tie. “I heard you two broke up. You okay?” He pointed at the other chair, no-nonsense. The way he looked at her, there was no other option but to concede. Caitlin sat down slowly, feeling she just walked into an impromptu West parenting session. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah—It...It didn’t really feel like a break-up, to be honest. I’m feeling confused.”</p><p> </p><p>Joe hummed, scratching at his beard. “Why’s that?” </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin played with the bangle bracelet on her wrist. She was pretty sure Cisco had gifted it at some <em> Hey! Aren’t Ya Glad We Didn’t Die? </em> celebration party several years back. Before Savitar. Before Zoom. They’ve had many of those. The exact occasion blurred in the number of close calls in their lives. </p><p> </p><p>She thought of the way he just easily accepted taking a break. Like it didn’t phase him. Like maybe he was thinking the same thing. But that felt weird. He was so offended when she asked him if he knew for sure they were right together romantically. So why wasn’t this taking a worse toll? </p><p> </p><p>“Wouldn’t he be more upset? If he really thought I was the one for him. Wouldn’t he fight for me to change my mind?” </p><p> </p><p>“Is that what you want?” </p><p> </p><p>No—</p><p> </p><p>Yes. Maybe. </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin wasn’t sure. </p><p> </p><p>~.~ </p><p> </p><p>Two weeks turned into three, and then on one Tuesday, she’s asked out to dinner by a tall handsome man at Jitters. </p><p> </p><p>She got nervous when she told Cisco. “I’ve been asked out on a date.” </p><p> </p><p>“For when?” </p><p> </p><p>“Tonight.” </p><p> </p><p>She clutched her clipboard to her chest very much in the same way she had that first day Barry woke up from the coma. She bit her lip, searching his face for some sign of his heartbreak. </p><p> </p><p>“You should go,” he said instead. Not out of jealousy or spite. His eyes were soft, gentle. He tapped his mechanical pencil against his desk. His tools and projects littered everywhere as they always were. They almost had sex here once. Didn’t, because Caitlin didn’t think she could manage the mess. But she knew it was one of his fantasies, way back. Told her, even. She wondered if he still thought about it now. </p><p> </p><p>“You should go,” he said again. She jerked her head up to break away from her distracting mental fog, meeting his gaze. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” she found herself asking, her voice almost lost. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” he said just as quietly. “I’m sure.” </p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>~.~ </p><p> </p><p>“—And you’re okay with this?” Barry stretched his arms over the back of his head, stressed. “Are you<em> insane? </em> I would never let Iris on a date with <em> another man!”  </em></p><p> </p><p>Cisco leaned his head back against Barry’s couch, drinking his super-sized  Big Belly Burger coke.  “‘That’s ‘cause you’re petty.” He took another sip. “And a jealous shit.” </p><p>Barry scoffed. “Iris is my lightn—” </p><p> </p><p>“Lightning rod. I know.” </p><p> </p><p>The door to the bathroom opened down the hall. Iris stuck her head out, hands in her half-completed twists. “Did I hear lightning rod?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I was telling Cisco how you’re my lightning rod.” </p><p> </p><p>“Love you too, babe!” The door shut again. Barry returned to the conversation, now with a dumb lovesick look on his face. </p><p> </p><p>Cisco rolled his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Seriously man, you should be trippin’. This could be like, the worst mistake of your lives. This could be the man Caitlin has her babies with. Are you prepared for that?” His face twisted with disgust. “Oh god. Am <em>I</em> prepared for that?”  </p><p> </p><p>Cisco took another long sip. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he should start spending more time with Chester. </p><p> </p><p>~.~ </p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>The restaurant was one of Central City’s finest. Expensive, classy, her taste of food. She spent several hours going through her clothes rack picking out what dress to wear. She went with a tight deep red dress with a V neckline that stopped a few inches above the knee. A hint of lace at the cleavage with her hair curled and twisted to the side. </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin didn’t need her date to tell her to know she looked amazing. </p><p> </p><p>She sat and listened, and laughed at all of the man’s jokes, not because she felt she had to, he was actually funny. </p><p> </p><p>She took his offer to pick out which drink she liked off the cocktail menu. He was sweet, charming.</p><p> </p><p> Caitlin could easily fall for him. </p><p> </p><p>He took a careful sip of his wine while they waited for dessert. “You’re distracted.” </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin didn’t want to fall for him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I think I’m in love with someone else.” </p><p> </p><p>~.~ </p><p> </p><p>Caitlin knocked on the front door of Cisco’s apartment.  </p><p> </p><p>Cisco took in her appearance, his eyes wide, mouth open. “Wow.” He let her in. “Hi.” </p><p> </p><p>She leaned over to unbuckle her stiletto shoes, dropping them carelessly in his foyer. Cisco followed her silently. Caitlin turned around, back against his pool table, arms across her chest. </p><p> </p><p>“How did you know?” </p><p> </p><p>He mirrored her body language. Arms crossed over his graphic tee, looking vulnerable and raw as she felt. </p><p> </p><p>“I know <em> you </em>, Caitlin. I know you. You’ve always come back to me.” </p><p> </p><p>She laughed humourlessly, wiping at her wet eyes, and sniffled when she found mascara and eyeliner smeared all over the back of her palm. </p><p> </p><p>“I never dolled up for you.” </p><p> </p><p>Cisco took a step forward. “You didn’t have to. You knew that.” </p><p> </p><p>"I should've." She let out another sob. Caitlin had been searching for proof. Proof that their love was powerful or intense. But the proof was written in his loyalty to her and vice versa in the history of their lives.</p><p> </p><p>“You wore what made you comfortable and you didn’t worry about what I’d think.” He paused, taking her in. “But you do look beautiful, by the way. As you always do.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m seriously in love with you,” Caitlin told him and started to cry.</p><p> </p><p>She had been for years. </p><p> </p><p>Some deep loves were understated, not all-consuming and lustfully passionate. She didn’t need to have screaming fits over getting his attention or wanted him to sweep her off her feet until she was numb and disoriented. She wanted someone who was her other half. Her supporter and the heart to her mind. Her lover. Her best friend. Her Cisco.</p><p> </p><p>“I couldn’t stop thinking about<em> you. </em>I thought— I wasn’t sure—” </p><p> </p><p>Cisco’s arm slipped around her waist. She put hers around his neck, shaking hands over the back of his neck, into his hair, feeling him again the way she ached to. The way she knew she missed.</p><p><br/><em>  “I’m </em> sure,” he promised and kissed her every doubt away.</p>
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